


the (second) first time

by Misila



Series: One thousand days 'verse [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, References to Depression, Romance, Sequel, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 20:17:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15469206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misila/pseuds/Misila
Summary: The day he tasted Haruka’s lips again, after nearly four years and the greatest mistake Rin has ever made, it felt like stealing something he had lost the right to have.Most of the new boundaries Haruka has set around himself are his fault, after all.[Small drabble, set afterOne thousand days.]





	the (second) first time

**Author's Note:**

> It's already on the summary and tags, but this fic is a sequel. What else can I say, read the first part for all the context.

 

 

 

 

Submerged in light pollution, Tokyo makes it hard to notice the hours ticking by. Lampposts and colourful neon signs dye the night a perennial pale black from twilight to dawn, and during that time the city seems frozen in time, something out of a dream where boundaries blur.

Rin glances at the clock on the nightstand every now and then to make sure time still passes; incredulity and jet lag cling to his eyes, cradling their red in dark rings. Sometimes his gaze hops to the two medals resting next to the alarm clock; and in his sleep-deprived daze he wonders if the never-changing city at night, the Olympics and the flight across half the world have awakened some sort of ancient spell.

The fingers curled around his left wrist tighten their grip and, not for the first time, Rin focuses on the body pressed up against him on a bed too small for two people.

 _Not that it matters_ , he tells himself, leaning back against Haruka.

(Actually, it does.)

Rin has no idea why now. Why not earlier, or later; he doesn’t know what Haruka was waiting for, and he didn’t want to ask. Because he told himself –and it was true– that being allowed back in Haruka’s life was enough. The day he tasted Haruka’s lips again, after nearly four years and the greatest mistake Rin has ever made, it felt like stealing something he had lost the right to have.

Most of the new boundaries Haruka has set around himself are his fault, after all.

But wasn’t it right to feel like an overexcited twelve year-old all over again when he spotted Haruka waiting for him at the airport? When they could barely wait to get in Makoto’s car to kiss their yearning away?

And oh, if joy made Rin forget about exhaustion, if Haruka politely asked the second they set foot in the apartment… how could Rin have refused?

(Of course you wanted, too.)

Rin closes his eyes, revels on the warmth leaning against his back. Lately Haruka has been warmer to the touch― and Rin is no scientist, but he could write an essay on how it’s related to the rekindled fire in his eyes, the light that slowly grows similar to the star he fell in love with all these years ago.

And yet, in the subtlest of ways, it hurts.

The grip Haruka keeps in his wrist is not new. It was there the first time they slept together after Rin came back from Australia, and it has been burning an invisible print in Rin’s skin for months. Rin is used to it.

But tonight, it’s tighter.

And Rin is painfully aware of the reason.

 _I won’t leave_ , he wants to tell Haruka, just like he has wanted to ever since he figured it out. But Rin, with his stupidity, made sure long ago his words are worthless to Haruka’s ears.

So, instead of speaking, he stays.

As the neon lights die out and the first rays of light breach over the horizon, as sleep finally arrives and Rin’s eyelids droop closed.

Only when Haruka’s stubborn grip falters does wakefulness come back, some alarm goes off in his brain and Rin winces and turns his neck around so quickly he gets dizzy.

But Haruka is still there, lying on his side, blue eyes barely open yet oddly concerned.

“You… had a nightmare?” he tries, and his mouth hangs open forming the smallest _o_ , because it’s still Haruka the one who usually needs to be reassured in the morning and he sucks at consoling others.

But Rin is a complete idiot, so it kind of works.

“I was falling asleep now,” he admits, and his left hand reaches for Haruka’s on instinct. “…You let go.”

Something unreadable flashes across Haruka’s eyes― an amalgam between fear and hope that freezes Rin as their fingers intertwine and blue glances away.

“Well, you stayed.”

It’s only when Haruka looks at him again that Rin recognises the sparkle in his eyes.

Trust.

It’s unfairly beautiful.

“I did,” Rin eventually whispers, leaning closer. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been toying with the idea of a sequel of sorts to _One thousand days_ for months. But my ideas were too ambitious, too silly, too dramatic (...particularly because I already put Haruka through enough here). I don't know how this happened, but I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tomatoes? Rocks? Comments?
> 
>  
> 
> [I'm @nenufair on both tumblr and twitter and you can hit me up anytime]


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